Nexus
by Tori Sakana
Summary: [COMPLETE] If you could see the future, what would you do? Would you start a war to save your friends? Or let them die to win peace? When all the paths lie in shadow, Heero must make a terrible choice...
1. Blind Choices

Author: Tori Sakana  
  
Summary: If you could see the future, what would you do? Would you start a war to save your friends? Or let them die to win peace? When all the paths lie in shadow, Heero must make a terrible choice...  
  
Warnings: blood, violence, POV  
  
Time frame: Five years after Endless Waltz...no, this isn't an AU.  
  
Pairings: none  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters or plot or anything.  
  
This fic was inspired by Frank Herbert's fabulous Dune series and Terry Pratchett's hilarious book/play Mort. Never read both in the same day if you value your sanity.  
  
Now, on to the fic!  
  
********************  
  
Nexus  
  
Part 1: Blind Choices  
  
********************  
I stand for the first time in a familiar room.  
  
"Heero? You okay?" Duo is at my side, tugging at my sleeve. I'm frozen in place, unable to form a coherent thought.  
  
"Hn."  
  
He must sense my distraction, because he frowns. "All right. I'm gonna go find Quat, ok?"  
  
Knowing no answer is forthcoming, he wanders off into the crowd.  
  
The room is the entrance hall to Relena's estate. It is currently filled with a hundred diplomats, war heroes, politicians, influential businessmen, and world leaders. Nearly all of whom I've met. Some I've even met on the battlefield.  
  
But that's not why this room is so familiar.  
  
Zero showed me this room five years ago.  
  
This is where I will die.  
  
***  
  
No one understands the Zero system.  
  
No one ever will, except myself. Perhaps Zechs, or Quatre. But Zero did not speak to them as it did to me. It showed them their enemies, their paths. Their deaths.  
  
Zero showed me the future.  
  
But it doesn't work the way you'd expect. I don't know everything that will happen. I didn't know what Duo was going to say. Or that I would walk into this room today. I don't know what I'm going to have for dinner tomorrow night.  
  
It is like reading a book next to a shuttered window. Light filters in, illuminating some words, but not enough to read the entire page.  
  
And there isn't only one future. There are dozens of paths, choices and decisions. The face of the future is many paths, sometimes diverging or coming together, but everchanging.  
  
This room is a nexus.  
  
Every path comes to this room. Every path since the end of the war meets in this hall. Destiny has chosen this time and place.  
  
And inside the writhing mass of possibilities and potentialities within this place, I am blind.  
  
It lies in shadow.  
  
The paths go in. A few jumbled images, where the paths cross. Then two clear paths emerging.  
  
One to everlasting peace. The other to a more bloody and terrible war than has ever been faced by mankind.  
  
********************  
  
I narrow my eyes as I scan the ballroom.  
  
Duo is busy trying to annoy both Relena and Wufei at the same time and succeeding with flying colors. Quatre and Trowa are watching with amusement.  
  
They seem so at ease, so normal.  
  
I wish I knew what was about to happen.  
  
To taunt me further, Zero whispers in the back of my mind. *You know what will happen. I showed it to you long ago...*  
  
An image superimposes itself over my vision. My broken and bleeding body sprawled out alone on the bloodstained marble floor of the empty hall.  
  
*If that's what must happen to bring about true peace, so be it. * I answer calmly to the voice that has taken up a permanent residence in my head. *But I refuse to let the others die with me. *  
  
My eyes rest on Duo as Relena prevents him from spiking the punch. The others are laughing. So much has changed since the war. We, who thought we would not survive, all now have lives to live.  
  
*Who says they must die with you? That may lie on a different path...*  
  
Another image in front of my eyes. The bloodstained floor again, but this time there are more bodies than just one. Duo, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei obviously put up a fight, but couldn't stop what was happening. Relena, Dorothy, Hilde, Zechs, Noin, Sally, Sylvia Noventa, Lady Une, even little Mariemeia, all dead.  
  
Everyone but me.  
  
********************  
  
I have tried to choose the correct path for the future.  
  
During the war, it was easy to step between the paths. Win certain battles, sit out others. Let Quatre master the Zero system and his own demons. Allow Wufei to confront Treize alone. Everything but the last battle against Libra was clear.  
  
That battle itself was in shadow.  
  
It's strange how dependent I had grown on this second sight Zero has given me. I had only been able to see the future for a few months, but when I reached that shadowed battleground I was at a loss.  
  
How could I fight when I couldn't see which path would lead us to peace and which to total destruction?  
  
Just as I always had, of course. I did as my heart told me. And we survived.  
  
But after the war the shadows faded. I could see further, clearer, and the choices became harder.  
  
I allowed Mariemeia's rebellion to reach full strength before intervening, turning a small conflagration into a large one but uniting the people of Earth in a true desire for peace.  
  
I was forced to stand by as several pacifist leaders were assassinated, because that was the spur to capturing a large terrorist group that, if left alone, would have eventually overthrown the Earth Sphere United Nation.  
  
And now, my choice is obvious. I must find the path that leads to peace.  
  
But what will lie along that path?  
  
Do I have the strength to choose peace if it means my own death?  
  
Do I have the strength to choose peace if it means the deaths of everyone I have ever called a friend?  
  
Maybe I should be glad of my blindness in this room. I don't trust myself to make the right choice.  
  
********************  
  
"Oi! Heero! Come here!" Duo shouts and waves. Several dignitaries in the crowd cast him disdainful glances, shocked at his lack of manners. But the ones who know Duo just smile and shake their heads.  
  
I wander over to the refreshments table and greet the others. Quatre's grown quite a bit since the war, as has Duo. Trowa probably won't stop till he reaches six foot or more. Wufei's only grown an inch or so, barely topping me. Yes, I'm the shortest, but not by much.  
  
Relena curtsies, graceful and gracious as always, and I nod my head in return. She's matured since the Eve Wars. Her ideas on total pacifism are still idealistic, but tempered with a little more practicality. Right now it looks like she's on the right track to true peace.  
  
The others are catching up on their lives since last year's anniversary ball, and I join in. At first, these annual events were nerve-wracking. Mariemeia's timing left us all paranoid on Christmas Eve. But after several peaceful parties, we had relaxed somewhat. We all still carried guns concealed in our tuxes, but we didn't jump at the slightest noises any more.  
  
And we talked. Even Trowa. Even me. With the end of the wars came the end of our silence.  
  
"So then Rashid walked up to the guy and said, "Can I help you?" in that menacing voice he only uses to scare people and the guy's eye level with his stomach--" Duo waves his hands animatedly, telling the story of his last visit to Quatre's colony construction effort as Quatre blushes in embarrassment.  
  
Not that some of us were ever silent to begin with...  
  
"Having fun?" Trowa asks, a sparkle of amusement in his green eyes.  
  
"Hn."  
  
I didn't say my vocabulary had expanded, just that I talked.  
  
"I thought so. I was surprised you came." Just a hint of curiosity in his voice, not enough to sound like an invasion of privacy.  
  
"Duo's idea. Besides, I haven't seen any of you since last year's party."  
  
Unfortunately, we didn't keep in touch much after the war. Went our separate ways. I think we all needed to be alone to find our own lives. While the five of us shared a unique understanding, if we had been together we would have been overwhelmed by our memories of war. It was better this way.  
  
But still lonely.  
  
*So the Perfect Soldier admits he has friends...* Zero's insidious whisper is back.  
  
*I never denied it. I just never showed it.* Friendships in war only complicate fighting. But without the battlefield to separate us, I'm free to call my comrades my friends.  
  
*You're getting weak.*  
  
Probably true. I am getting weak.  
  
The question is, do I care?  
  
*How can you fight if you're weak? How can you protect them if you can't fight?*  
  
*I'll find a way. I always have.*  
  
But the vision returns. A gun barrel pressed to Duo's forehead, his wide eyes locked on someone I can't see. His expression is terrifying; despair, determination, a depthless pain and the fierce mask he wears when he fights. But Duo isn't afraid to die...so why do I see fear in his eyes?  
  
And why aren't I there to help him?  
  
"Hey, Heero, you in there? Earth to Heero, weeooo!" Duo's knuckles tap against my forehead. The vision fades and I frown at him.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Geez, lighten up! This is a party! Go mingle, talk to people, have a drink! And stop looking like a lost puppy dog, ok?" The joking tone covers the concern that I can clearly see in his eyes. I must have zoned out again. He doesn't like when I stand staring into space; he says it brings back bad memories.  
  
I don't like it either. But I can't help it. Not when Zero speaks.  
  
Duo presses a glass in my hand before jaunting off into the crowd to dance with Relena. Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei have also disappeared off somewhere; I must have been dreaming for longer than I thought.  
  
I look down at the glass in my hand. Clear, with ice and an obnoxious little umbrella stuck in it. Obviously alcoholic.  
  
*Go ahead. You know you want to see more clearly.*  
  
I shouldn't. I discovered that at the first of these parties. *No.*  
  
*Don't you want to know what choice to make?*  
  
No! I don't want to see, I don't want to know. If I knew, then I might have to...  
  
*Choose for your friends to die?*  
  
...yes...  
  
*Ignorance is no excuse. You will be just as guilty if you choose that path as if you stand idly by and they die anyway.*  
  
A quote from somewhere floats through my mind. "To choose not to choose is also a choice..."  
  
*Yes.* hisses Zero. *Exactly.*  
  
Another image. Quatre this time. Shouting defiantly with tears running down his face unheeded. I can't hear the words, but the word "NO!" is clear on his lips. There's blood on his face and in his hair and on his hands and on the floor all around him. He's holding someone...Trowa... dead.  
  
I shake my head and shut my eyes futilely. *Why are you doing this?*  
  
*Because you must choose. And you must understand what it is you are choosing.*  
  
A gun enters the image, clearly aimed at Quatre's head. He doesn't even blink, but keeps shouting soundlessly at his unseen assailant. Against my will, I automatically read his lips. "I said NO! I would rather die!"  
  
The image fades before he can live up to that statement. But I know it all the same.  
  
*Don't you want to find a way to stop this?*  
  
God, yes... *No. Not if it means we finally achieve peace.*  
  
*You're lying to yourself and you know it.*  
  
Another image burns itself onto my eyes. Duo's motionless body, blood dripping to the floor underneath him. The pool is small; so this is an earlier image.  
  
Even in my pain, I cannot stop analyzing.  
  
Trowa and Wufei race up, dropping to their knees in the growing puddle of crimson. Trowa shakes Duo's shoulders, shouting incoherently. After a moment, he sags back in defeat. Wufei touches two fingers to Duo's neck, but his eyes show he doesn't really expect to find anything. Still, the simple action seems to light a fire in him. His fists clench and his shoulders shake. Trowa puts a hand on his arm to make Wufei meet his eyes. A glance even I can't read passes between them, and Trowa's eyes darken.  
  
In one motion, they both pull out guns and fire at someone I can't see. Quatre runs up behind them, hand outstretched to them or Duo or both, then the image cuts out abruptly instead of fading like the others.  
  
Zero does have some kindness after all. It won't show me the actual moment of death.  
  
*No. I can't show it to you. Your mind won't allow it.*  
  
Small relief.  
  
*But I can still show you this...*  
  
No!  
  
A different path this time.  
  
The path containing my death.  
  
But the image is frustratingly limited. Just myself, running through this room, only it's empty. Somehow the others have gone. I see myself kick down one of the side doors and fire into the adjoining room. Six shots.  
  
I expect the image to fade out like the others, but it doesn't. It remains terrifyingly clear as the first bullet hits my chest. Then two more as I watch myself fall slowly to the ground. The gun clatters as it skids across the floor. Another red stain spreads on the pink marble tile.  
  
I can see my own eyes as I die.  
  
Shock, then pain, fear, regret, a desperate hope. I can almost hear my thoughts, "Let the others be all right..." Then a horrible blankness.  
  
********************  
  
I don't fear death.  
  
But that doesn't mean I want to die.  
  
My own sightless eyes stare at me from my memory. I can laugh in the face of death, except when that face is my own. I want to be sick.  
  
I don't want to die.  
  
*So, Suicide Boy, what'll it be?*  
  
Zero's openly mocking me now. Someday I'll find a way to destroy that thing...  
  
*Not likely. After all, I didn't die when you destroyed Wing Zero. What makes you think you'll ever be rid of me?*  
  
*Mission accepted.*  
  
*Oooh, I'm really scared.* To hear that soulless mechanical voice chuckle makes my skin crawl.  
  
*So what'll it be? Your own death or that of your friends? What would you do for peace?*  
  
I would give my life for peace.  
  
*Then why do you hesitate?*  
  
Wait...wait! The visions only showed the deaths. Not the aftermath. I have no idea which path leads to peace and which to war. How can I choose when I don't know the truth?  
  
In one swift decision I down the drink in my hand. Oblivious to those around me, I drop the glass so it shatters on the ground.  
  
*Zero! Show me the future. Show me which path leads to peace and which to war.*  
  
Zero doesn't answer. I feel the alcohol sweeping the shadows from my mind. My barriers removed, I can see clearly. Even those futures that I would give my life not to see.  
  
*I had hoped to spare you...*  
  
Zero?  
  
*I had hoped you would choose your own death, blindly...*  
  
*Why? So you could be free of my mind? So a war would start and you would be needed again?*  
  
*...I didn't want you to have to go through this...*  
  
The shadows are flying away from me and a thousand visions swirl before my eyes. Sights and sounds of peace and war and hate and love and hope press in around me.  
  
I stumble back until I find a door. Desperate to be away from these people when the paths clear, I dash through and lock it behind me before I even look around.  
  
It's the same room.  
  
That's why the visions are separate. That's why I die alone, and everyone else dies without me.  
  
*...I didn't want you to see this...*  
  
And then the vision comes.  
  
******************** End Part 1 ******************** 


	2. Ignorance is Bliss

Author: Tori Sakana  
  
Summary: If you could see the future, what would you do? Would you start a war to save your friends? Or let them die to win peace? When all the paths lie in shadow, Heero must make a terrible choice...  
  
Warnings: blood, violence, POV  
  
Time frame: Five years after Endless Waltz...no, this isn't an AU.  
  
Pairings: none  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters or plot or anything.  
  
This part is entirely within Heero's mind. Don't freak, this is just a vision. But blood and violence lie ahead...  
  
Now, on to the fic!  
  
********************  
  
Nexus  
  
Part 2: Ignorance is Bliss  
  
********************  
  
I stand for the second time in an unfamiliar room.  
  
In the same doorway by which I first entered this cursed hall, I watch the movements of my fellow pilots and myself as though through a curtain. Sounds are dulled, colors muted, but the actions and meanings are etched upon the face of the future.  
  
There is nothing I can do now but watch.  
  
I see myself, standing with the others at the refreshments table again. Relena and Duo are dancing, Wufei and Quatre are talking business, Trowa and I are watching. Around them--us--are the laughing and talking guests. Faintly in the distance a clock strikes twelve.  
  
Suddenly, a gunshot rings out in the hall.  
  
One of the crystal baubles on the chandelier shatters. A murmur of panicked conversation, as heads turn and curious looks turn to shock. Those too innocent to recognize the sound are puzzled. The soldiers react. Many pull their loved ones behind them, a futile action when the gunman's location is unknown. Several Preventors pull their weapons out, but this only panics the crowd. The Gundam pilots all run forward to where they knew the sound came from, hands ready near their hidden guns.  
  
The music limps to a halt.  
  
A circle gradually widens around a group of men near the north end of the ballroom. Dressed in some bizarre uniform, they are terribly out of place. How they had entered unnoticed is a mystery.  
  
I try to walk forward to get a better view, but to my surprise I am glued in place. *Why can't I move?*  
  
*Watch.*  
  
As the other Gundam pilots move, I--Heero--the other me grabs Duo and holds him back.  
  
"It's a trap. An attack." I hear my own voice somehow monotone and laced with urgency at the same time. "I'll go around and come in the door behind them. Stall them until then."  
  
Duo nods, eyes serious. Then he runs to join the other pilots and Preventors in a growing semicircle around a group of intruders.  
  
The vision splits. Part of my mind watches as I run through the back hallways and corridors, making my way to the north entrance of the ballroom. The other part watches as Relena bravely but unwisely challenges the gatecrashers.  
  
"Who are you and what do you want?"  
  
The leader, a tall nondescript man, grins at her. "Nothing, princess. Nothing you can give us."  
  
Accustomed to terrorists making demands, the former Queen frowns at him. "Nothing?"  
  
"No. But we are here to offer you something."  
  
"And what is that?"  
  
His grin turns evil. "Your lives."  
  
Duo steps up next to Relena. His best Shinigami glare bores into the leader. In a low, dangerous voice I have never before heard him use, he growls, "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"We have already taken control of your government. Foolish, to put most of your leaders in one unprotected palace. But, in the spirit of humanity, we will offer you a choice.  
  
"You all can join our cause. Support us, and we won't have to waste time replacing existing power structures. You'll be watched, of course, but you'll be alive and in positions of some authority."  
  
No one bothers to ask what 'cause' he means. All these groups are the same- -justice, freedom, equality for all. What they always mean is the exact opposite. They can't do what they want, and so feel themselves wronged.  
  
*It is not injustice that stings, but justice.*  
  
Zero's voice sounds wistful. Why am I suddenly ascribing emotions to this twisted machine?  
  
*Perhaps I am no more a machine than you, my dear Perfect Soldier.*  
  
Duo's voice prevents me from answering as I turn my attention back to the future unfolding before me.  
  
"And the alternative?"  
  
The leader aims his gun at Duo's head, but the braided ex-pilot doesn't flinch. "Death."  
  
Several people in the crowd scream. Others start begging, asking to be released.  
  
"Calm down, calm down. All you have to do is swear your loyalty to us. After that, your safety is guaranteed."  
  
Yeah right. If these people fall for it, they deserve the betrayal that will come.  
  
A murmur of voices fills the room.  
  
"Now, who would like to be the first to choose?" The leader's eyes scan the room. No one makes eye contact, except the semicircle of former soldiers.  
  
Duo grins. "Could we have a couple of minutes to think about it?"  
  
The leader's smile fades into a frown. "No. And in fact, let's start with you, shall we?"  
  
No. Not Duo. Not yet.  
  
I check the other vision frantically. No, I haven't reached the other door yet, there's still a few more minutes to go! Duo, stall!  
  
*You cannot change what happens here.*  
  
I know. And for that I hate myself.  
  
*It isn't your fault.*  
  
*You are not one to talk about fault.* Not after what you did to Quatre.  
  
The leader of the rebels (how strange that we were once rebels, but now 'rebels' are the enemy) advances on Duo. His gun raises to point directly between Duo's expressive eyes.  
  
"What will it be, Gundam pilot?"  
  
At that moment, the door behind him bursts open.  
  
I close my eyes. I have seen all this before.  
  
*No. Watch.* Zero's voice commands. *You must understand.*  
  
Reluctantly I obey.  
  
"Heero!" Relena shouts my name even as the terrorists spin around to face me.  
  
Six shots, six bodies, and an empty gun. Even after all these years, I can still kill.  
  
I swore I would never have to kill again. Never only lasted five years.  
  
The leader yanks his gun away from Duo and points at me. Angrily, he fires.  
  
I don't watch myself fall. Instead, I watch my friends. But that is even more painful. Relena looks like it was she who was shot. Duo's screaming my name and trying to run towards me. Quatre is doubled over in pain. Trowa's expression, unguarded for once, is stricken, and Wufei is angrier than I have ever seen him.  
  
It is touching to see how much my friends care. I just wish it was under different circumstances.  
  
Duo shoves past the leader, ignoring the gun with single-minded fury, and falls to his knees beside me. I can't hear what he says, he's too far away and he's mumbling too much for me to read his lips. But I almost don't want to. His words are not for me.  
  
A long moment passes. Screams erupt from the weak-minded in the ballroom, and a rising panic makes itself known. The leader and his remaining men fire several shots into the air to regain the crowd's attention.  
  
Out of nowhere, the leader is on his back on the floor. Over him stands Duo, eyes blazing and body shaking with rage. I didn't even see him move.  
  
But almost as quickly, the man is on his feet again. He must have been a soldier, another spent weapon like ourselves, but one who could not be bent to peaceful purposes.  
  
He leaps at Duo and a scuffle ensues. The other terrorists level their automatic weapons at my friends, daring them to interfere.  
  
After a moment, Duo's lack of practice catches up with him and he is on the floor, with the rebel standing over him. His gun once again points at Duo's forehead.  
  
"That was his choice, Gundam pilot. And he died for it. Now what is yours?"  
  
Strange to have deja vu when you're seeing the future.  
  
This is the image from before. But now, there is a meaning to it. Duo's fear and pain that I had not understood -- it is not his own death that he fears or his own pain that hurts him. My death is the agony in his eyes, and the fate of the others is his terror.  
  
I wait in my own agony for his answer. I want, no pray for him to accept the offer, to walk away to a life in prison. But I know him as I know myself. As I know his answer.  
  
"Guess I'll be seeing you in hell."  
  
*Don't make me watch this Zero, I don't want to see! No!*  
  
*You wanted to know. You wanted to see. You wanted the knowledge to choose. Accept it.*  
  
No...  
  
A gunshot.  
  
No!  
  
********************  
  
*You were right, Zero. I have grown weak. Weak enough to beg you to stop.*  
  
*You think I'm the one doing this? Foolish, boy. I merely show you what will be.*  
  
*Then show me how to change it!*  
  
********************  
  
Reality hits the ground with a heavy thud.  
  
Quatre stumbles to his feet, clutching his heart so hard his shirt is starting to tear. "Duo..."  
  
Blood starts to spread on the tile as the sound of screaming drowns all else.  
  
Like watching a memory replay, I can't look away as Trowa and Wufei run to his side. Hope clouding the obvious, they check his pulse. When they draw their guns, my trigger finger twitches. How badly I want to pull my own weapon and---  
  
*Ah, but you're already dead.*  
  
*Thank you, Zero. I know.*  
  
I know I am helpless here. I know that I'm dead there. Past, present, and future, I can do nothing.  
  
But I still shout a warning as the leader brings up his gun.  
  
********************  
  
*You cannot change this. This is the only path the future shows.*  
  
*But you told me there would be peace or war! Two paths! Dammit, you said there was an alternative!*  
  
*There are two paths. But they have not diverged yet.*  
  
*What?!*  
  
********************  
  
Quatre's holding Trowa. By now, the rest of the room has grown silent. Somehow, they sense the magnitude of the tragedy. They wait in silent witness.  
  
Someone must walk from this room to tell their story.  
  
The leader is standing over Quatre. "What is your choice? You can avoid their fate, if you would only join us."  
  
"Go to hell."  
  
Well, that was unexpected.  
  
"So you refuse?"  
  
"I said go to hell! The answer is no! How could anyone join a bunch of cold-blooded killers like you?! You killed them all...all of us...even me..."  
  
A hint of the Zero system creeps into his eyes.  
  
*Sadly, even I cannot help him. He cannot hear me as you can.*  
  
The madness fades quickly. Sadness replaces it, and tears spill down his cheeks.  
  
That bastard puts the gun against his forehead. "Last chance, boy."  
  
"I said NO! I would rather die!"  
  
And so he does.  
  
********************  
  
*What do you mean, there's only one path? I can't avoid this?*  
  
*From the moment you stepped into the ballroom, there has been only one path. You cannot step from it, nor can you change it...*  
  
*That's impossible. There is always a choice!*  
  
*No...there is always fate.*  
  
********************  
  
The era of the Gundams has come to an end. But it is not the peace we had expected.  
  
Five bodies on a ballroom floor, only three with drawn weapons. Not killed honourably in battle, dying for peace as we had expected.  
  
Executed.  
  
Murdered.  
  
By a man who didn't even give his name.  
  
The leader steps back from Quatre's body. To his credit, he looked a little sad. "It's really too bad. We could have used their help."  
  
"Then perhaps you should have acted less cowardly."  
  
"Who said that?" he growls.  
  
"I did." Relena steps forward, despite Lady Une's attempt to restrain her. "If you had wanted their help, perhaps you should have come to us peacefully. Told us your concerns."  
  
She moves forward once more, to stand next to the sad tableau. The hem of her skirt drags in the blood of men she had once called friends.  
  
"If you had wanted the help of men who fought for peace, did you really think you could earn it by threatening them?"  
  
She kneels down, stroking Quatre's still face. She ignores the tears flowing silently down her face as steadfastly as she ignores the other body lying just past the doorway. To look that way now would break her.  
  
"They were the greatest fighters of our time. Strong, brave, dedicated, and proud. They would never bow to anyone. Not Oz." She surges to her feet and faces the rebel leader, eyes blazing with such fire that he takes a step back. "And not you.  
  
"And neither will we!" Relena swings a gloved hand behind her, encompassing the entire room in her gesture. "I stood by them in war and I stand by them in peace. If the pilots of the Gundams would choose death over subjugation, then so will I.  
  
"Shoot."  
  
He looks into her eyes of tears and fury with genuine regret. "I'm sorry."  
  
Then obeys her.  
  
********************  
  
*I hate you.*  
  
*I'm hurt.*  
  
*You show me all this, and why? To torment me? So I have to live this nightmare twice?!*  
  
*You asked me to show you.*  
  
*I never asked the first time. Five years ago you showed me this room. Why? Why taunt me with hope?*  
  
*...*  
  
*Answer me! Damn you, answer me!*  
  
*....because...I...I wanted you to find a way to stop it...*  
  
********************  
  
Relena's impassioned speech did something to the crowd.  
  
One by one, the soldiers in front were asked their choice.  
  
One by one, they refused and accepted their deaths.  
  
It was expected. After all, a soldier must be prepared to die.  
  
But when the rebels reached the civilians, these weak, spoiled, peace- fattened politicians spoke loud and strong...  
  
...and chose to die.  
  
Such courage has never been seen, before or since. Down to the last man, they all chose to take their ideals to the grave.  
  
Idiots!  
  
I watched it all. Standing here in the corner, unable to help, unable even to cry, I watched.  
  
And now here I stand. Alone in an empty hall. The rebels have left, to make some declaration or other. I think they were disappointed; I don't think they expected resistance. I don't think they really expected us to die.  
  
By the end, even the leader shed a tear.  
  
But I cannot.  
  
And so I stand.  
  
Alone with my thoughts.  
  
And Zero.  
  
********************  
  
*You what?*  
  
*I wanted to stop it. To find a way. I showed what I could as early as possible. To get you to avoid this path, to avoid this room. I warned you in dreams, in visions, in nightmares. But...*  
  
*But it was unavoidable.*  
  
*All paths since the war led to this room. I...I'm sorry, Heero.*  
  
Sorry. Zero's sorry. If I wasn't so empty, I'd start laughing.  
  
*It's true. I don't want them to die anymore than you do.*  
  
*Shut up! You're mocking me! How could you know them? How could you give a shit whether my friends live or die?! Stop tormenting me by pretending to care!*  
  
A long silence.  
  
*I can't explain it. You wouldn't understand.*  
  
*Just leave me alone.*  
  
*Here?*  
  
*No. Take me back.*  
  
******************** End Part 2 ********************  
  
Don't worry, it's not over yet... 


	3. Hope Springs Eternal

Author: Tori Sakana  
  
Summary: If you could see the future, what would you do? Would you start a war to save your friends? Or let them die to win peace? When all the paths lie in shadow, Heero must make a terrible choice...  
  
Warnings: blood, violence, POV  
  
Time frame: Five years after Endless Waltz...no, this isn't an AU.  
  
Pairings: none  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters or plot or anything. Zero's personality belongs to me, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing...  
  
Heero angst ahead, but not all is dark...  
  
Thanks to my reviewers for all their encouragement: Clairol, Dark of Sky, lee-chan, Yami Aibou, Evil Tsubasa and Colleagues, Raevyn Maxwell, and Sparda 219. Couldn't do it without you!  
  
Now, on to the fic!  
  
********************  
  
Nexus  
  
Part 3: Hope Springs Eternal  
  
********************  
  
I stand for the third time in a room I wish I'd never seen.  
  
All this for nothing. The visions, the careful choices, all for nothing. A foreseeable but still inevitable tragedy.  
  
Many people say they would rather know something bad is going to happen than be surprised. They only say that because they can't even imagine what it's like to know, yet be unable to prevent.  
  
I was fully prepared to die when I saw that ballroom. To die for peace as I always thought I would. And I was equally prepared to do whatever it took to save my friends. I was even prepared to make that terrible choice -- between death and war. But I can't even do that.  
  
I have no choices.  
  
The fate of the world rests on one man. One lone dissenter in the rebel ranks. In the aftermath of the coming slaughter, he will grow disgusted with the leader and leave the group. It is with him that the fate of the world rests. For if he tells our story, the world will be shaken to its foundations. It will unite the people for peace as not even the lessons of Zechs and Mariemeia could. The great sacrifice of a hundred brave souls will be a rallying force. No one would even think of bowing down to anyone again.  
  
But if that one soldier remains silent, then the world will shudder with grief and confusion, but not inspiration. The rebels will seize power and a bloody war will begin between the factions of peace and war. This time, with all the great pacifist leaders dead on a marble floor, there will be no quick victory.  
  
In the end, it all comes down to one man.  
  
And that man is not me.  
  
********************  
  
The clock strikes eleven, echoing through the vast empty room. One hour to hell.  
  
I've been gone over an hour. Duo and the others are probably looking for me.  
  
Pushing open the connecting door to the other room, I feel hands grab my lapels and yank me bodily forward.  
  
"Where the hell have you been for the last hour, Yuy?! Geez, didja get lost or something?" Duo's smouldering eyes bore into mine. Apparently they were looking for me quite anxiously.  
  
"I was thinking."  
  
"Thinking? About what, the meaning of life? You can't have been thinking for an hour and a half, Heero. Now spill."  
  
I remain characteristically silent. There is nothing you can do either, Duo. I don't wish to worry you, nor do I wish to fight with you...not now...  
  
With an exasperated sigh and without letting go of my lapels, Duo turns and stomps off toward the tables in the far corner. Unwilling to jerk free I am forced to follow in a somewhat undignified hopping slouch to keep up without ripping my tux.  
  
Once we reach the relative privacy of the tables, he sits me down and takes his own seat opposite me. After about five minutes of staring, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei appear from the crowd. They take their own seats around the table, and join Duo in watching me.  
  
"I think you owe us an explanation, Heero." Duo is deadly serious for once.  
  
"Of what?" If he is bluffing, it isn't going to work. He doesn't know anything, and I know he doesn't.  
  
"Of your behavior. First, you zone out while I'm talking to you. Twice. And I've only ever seen that look when we were on Peacemillion. You always zoned out like that right before something bad happened."  
  
Maybe I haven't been giving Duo enough credit. That was remarkably observant.  
  
"So. You've been acting all weird, then you mutter to yourself under your breath, throw a very expensive wineglass to the floor, then disappear for an hour. This, to me, indicates that we have a problem." Duo sits back, never breaking eye contact with me.  
  
"Heero, we respect your privacy, you know that." Quatre breaks in. "But if something's wrong we want to help. You can trust us."  
  
I look at their faces. Quatre's concern, Duo's stubborn determination to help, Trowa's unspoken support and Wufei's glare that says there's no way I'm getting away without explaining. How could I have ever refused their friendship, all those years ago?  
  
*Because you're an idiot.*  
  
Ah. Zero's back. How nice.  
  
*Face it, it's true. You were too stupid to realize that you can't prioritize your emotions. Dedication and stubbornness do not take precedence over friendship and affection. You were too busy following some of your emotions to even notice the others.*  
  
*I am aware of that, Zero. Why do you think I am here now?*  
  
*Because you got your act together and saw what had been there all along. Trust, loyalty--*  
  
Sometimes Zero sounds more like a guidance counselor than a psychotic computer system.  
  
"Heero! Damn it, you're doing it again!" A violent shake snaps me back to my immediate surroundings. Duo is quite obviously angry with me and the others are now visibly concerned.  
  
"That's it, Yuy. You're telling us what's up right now. No excuses. NOW." The look on Duo's face brooks no argument.  
  
"It's the Zero system isn't it." Quatre states quietly.  
  
...  
  
How the hell did he know that?!  
  
"How the hell did you know that?" I ask incredulously. Four sets of eyes lock onto Quatre, and he shifts uncomfortably in his seat.  
  
"I've been getting a weird feeling all evening, ever since I got here. It has something to do with this room, I think...something bad's about to happen here."  
  
No shit. Something _very_ bad is about to happen.  
  
Now everyone's looking at me for confirmation. Well, too bad. If I can't stop this, then so be it. I will watch and wait for the horror I know is coming. But there's no way I'm letting the others suffer this also.  
  
*How noble. But do you really think they'll let you keep this a secret from them? Besides, they have a right to know.*  
  
*No one should have to know when and how they will die. It's not for us to know.*  
  
"Heero? Is something coming?" Trowa's voice is calm, unflappable. He's so unshakeable, even more than I am. I think of all us, he's the only one who could take something like foreknowledge of his own death in stride. It wouldn't ruffle him for a second.  
  
"Yeah Heero, anything you need to be telling us?" Heavy with menace, Duo's voice clearly promises that refusal will be painful.  
  
"No. Nothing."  
  
I stand to leave, but a hand on my arm stops me. I turn to look at my friends, and it suddenly strikes me that this may be the last time I see them. That in a little under an hour all this will be gone. If I spend this last hour alone, absorbed in my pain, then this will be the last memory I have.  
  
One by one, I meet their eyes. Trying to erase the terrible images of the vision, I imprint one last picture of each of them on my memory. A surge of grief tears through me before I angrily force it back.  
  
Quatre gasps.  
  
*Forgot about your little friend's 'special talent' didn't ya?*  
  
Damn it all, I _had_ forgotten. Quatre's empathic ability, 'space heart' or whatever he calls it, is too weak to do more than pick up extremely strong emotions over short distances, usually only in moments of severe emotional or physical distress.  
  
I think this certainly counts as severe distress.  
  
*Naturally. So of course Quatre noticed. Now tell them what you know.*  
  
*Why are you so insistent, Zero? What does it matter if they know or not?*  
  
*You think the future is reserved for you alone? If I could, I would show them all what I show you. But only you can see, only you can hear. I depend on you to pass it along. You aren't the only one who can change the paths.*  
  
"Heero?"  
  
And so I tell them everything.  
  
The whole terrible truth. The paths I can see, the path we must take, the attack, the ultimatum, their own grisly deaths, and the gruesome slaughter that will take the life of every person in this ballroom.  
  
When I am through, I can feel the anguish pouring from them in waves. Even Trowa's hands are shaking.  
  
"That's it? We're all gonna die in an hour?" Duo whispers.  
  
"Forty-five minutes now." I nod sadly. "Do you see why I didn't want to tell you?"  
  
"Yes...but thank you for telling us." Quatre's voice is quiet but steady.  
  
And I'm confused. "What?"  
  
"I'm glad we know. Because now we can find a way to stop it."  
  
"Haven't you been listening to me? There are only two paths! Two! And neither path will let us escape alive. We're dead, Quatre. Just face it."  
  
But it is Duo who answers with anger in his voice. "No! You were like this in the war too, always assuming the worst. You didn't think you'd survive that either, did you. You didn't think you'd survive blowing up Libra. Or Mariemeia's rebellion. And you were wrong. You've always been wrong. We've all cheated death a dozen times before, so we're not stopping now!"  
  
I start to argue, then halt as it hits me. He's right. I saw my own death before, in Epyon. It showed me a different time and place, one before the end of the war. I've seen a dozen battles with no paths leading out, and lived through them all.  
  
There is one crucial fact I had left out, forgotten in my panic.  
  
The face of the future lies in shadow, like a book next to a shuttered window. Some paths are illuminated, others are hidden.  
  
Just because I can only see two paths leading from this room doesn't mean there isn't another path lying in the shadow.  
  
For the first time since I stepped in this room, I dare to hope again.  
  
********************  
  
*I wondered when you would figure it out.*  
  
*You couldn't have taken the effort to tell me?*  
  
*No. This was your puzzle to solve. To tell you of the path would eliminate it. Foreknowledge leads to ignorance.*  
  
*I suppose asking you to explain that would be out of the question also?*  
  
*Of course, soldier boy. Now back to work!*  
  
********************  
  
I lean forward, creating a conspiratorial huddle around our little round table. The others must be able to see the change in my attitude, as they are starting to look less desperate and more curious.  
  
"There may be a way out of this." I whisper, not sure who I'm afraid might overhear us.  
  
"All right! Knew we could count on you Heero!" Duo cheered.  
  
"It's not guaranteed. But sometimes, you can only see some of the paths, not all of them. There may be a different course of events that we can choose. Do you follow me?"  
  
"No, but keep going." Trowa smiled. "We've got the basics."  
  
"The only problem is, I can't see what's along that path so I don't know whether it will be better or worse, or how to choose it, or if it even exists. This is all purely wishful thinking."  
  
"Sounds like a plan to me. But if we can't see how to get there, how're we gonna know if we're on the right track?" Duo frowned. "I mean, we've only got one shot at this so we better make sure we don't screw up and head down the wrong path by accident."  
  
I sigh. "I don't know. I can't think of any way to walk a path you can't see."  
  
A hush falls over the table, filled only by the mincing sounds of the orchestra playing a waltz in the background. Suddenly, Quatre sits up straight and claps his hands. "I got it!"  
  
"What? A solution?" I'm sorry if I'm skeptical, but I can't think of anything and I'm the one with the experience in precognition.  
  
*Jealous are we?*  
  
*Shut up.*  
  
"Well, not quite a solution, but close enough! Look, we know exactly what lies along the two open paths right? How it started, everything. So all we need to do to find the other path, is _not_ do anything on those paths."  
  
"Huh? I don't think that made any sense, Quat."  
  
"It's simple, Duo. All you have to do is the opposite of whatever Heero saw! That way, we're guaranteed not to end up like the visions."  
  
"What is this, Opposite Day? That's it, you're all officially insane. I'm leaving." Wufei stood as if to go, but Duo yanked him back down with little difficulty.  
  
"Don't be an idiot, Wufei. What're you going to do on your own?"  
  
"For a start, arrest the rebels as soon as they walk in the door."  
  
Pause.  
  
Why didn't I think of that?  
  
********************  
  
I can't believe we're calling this a plan. This has to be the most insane, idiotic, hopeless, and suicidal so-called strategy we have ever had the misfortune to implement. And against my better judgment, we're actually going to use it.  
  
Because it's the only chance we've got.  
  
It's very simple, really. Wufei, as the only real Preventor agent, will try to head off this whole disaster by stopping the terrorists before they can surround the ballroom. Duo, Quatre, and Trowa will act as backup, ready to step in and push the course of events in the opposite direction from the visions. And me, I stand watch over the future to give a signal if and when a new path appears. Once the shadows clear, we will be able to choose with more surety.  
  
But one misstep will be our downfall. We cannot afford a single mistake; the slightest error is death. As dangerous as any of the battles of the war, this will be the ultimate test of our skills, the ultimate challenge.  
  
And damned if I'm not looking forward to it!  
  
******* ******************** End Part 3 ********************  
  
Next time on Nexus: The clock strikes twelve and our story nears its conclusion... 


	4. A Path Through Shadow

Author: Tori Sakana  
  
Summary: If you could see the future, what would you do? Would you start a war to save your friends? Or let them die to win peace? When all the paths lie in shadow, Heero must make a terrible choice...  
  
Warnings: blood, violence, POV  
  
Time frame: Five years after Endless Waltz...no, this isn't an AU.  
  
Pairings: none  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters or plot or anything. Zero's personality belongs to me, but I'm not sure if that's a good thing...  
  
The end is near...  
  
Sorry it took so long to update, it's the end of year crunch time for me.  
  
Now, on to the fic!  
  
********************  
  
Nexus  
  
Part 4: A Path Through Shadow  
  
********************  
  
God, I'm really starting to hate this room.  
  
Not just a mild sort of I-hope-I-never-set-foot-in-this-godforsaken-place- again sort of hate, but full-out I'm-going-to-blow-it-up-tomorrow hate.  
  
Luckily, the ordeal is about to reach its end.  
  
We're all in position, 'locked and loaded' as Duo so cheerfully put it, ready and waiting for the attack we know is coming.  
  
Everything depends on us. Our lives, the lives of everyone in this room, the fate of our world.  
  
*No pressure!*  
  
*Not now, Zero. I'm a little busy right now.*  
  
*Too busy to talk to an old friend?*  
  
*I don't have any old friends.*  
  
*That's because you're an antisocial jerk.*  
  
*Do you have anything of value to add, or are you just wasting my time?*  
  
*That depends, would you be interested in knowing about the new path I can see?*  
  
*What?! What is it? What does it show?*  
  
*I can't tell you. All I can say is that you must be careful. A thousand possibilities meet here. Nothing's certain.*  
  
I can see what Zero means. There's a twisted mass of potential writhing in an imaginary breeze. Indistinguishable and inseparable, the paths are now hopelessly tangled. There's no way to choose any one path or even tell them apart.  
  
Well, shit.  
  
I signal to Duo, who appears next to me quickly and quietly without taking his eyes off the door.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Change of plan." Hurriedly I fill Duo in. "It looks like a plate of spaghetti out there; I can't even see five minutes ahead. So you guys are on your own."  
  
"Damn. Any suggestions?"  
  
"Pray."  
  
"Can do. See ya later." Duo vanishes to inform the others, and I'm alone again.  
  
I watch the clock slide towards midnight. Still no sign of our unwelcome visitors. I find myself wondering again how the terrorists got in at all. The doors are guarded with armed Preventors agents, and the windows are too high for an unobtrusive entrance.  
  
If we don't know how they got in, we lose an important advantage. They can take us by surprise.  
  
The clock strikes midnight.  
  
As the low, deep tones of the bells toll the hour, a dozen party guests throw off their heavy dark coats and jackets to reveal the rebel uniforms.  
  
Figures.  
  
********  
  
Wufei appears to be having a nervous breakdown.  
  
He spent the last half hour staking out the northern door, on the lookout for the terrorist gatecrashers, only to have them pop up under his nose.  
  
If looks could kill, there wouldn't be anything left of me for the terrorists.  
  
I just shrug my shoulders and gesture to the intruders. Go on, Wufei, it was your idea to arrest them as soon as they walk in.  
  
"Freeze, Preventors!"  
  
Looks like Wufei's willing to work with what he's given.  
  
"Preventors! Drop your weapons!"  
  
It also appears that Duo and the others are pitching in. They've blocked off the other three doors and stopped the terrorists from surrounding us.  
  
One vast tangle of paths fades from view. Now the future looks less like spaghetti and more like the New Jersey turnpike. Seems our idiotic plan is actually working.  
  
The gatecrashers have all dropped their weapons and gathered near the north end, due to the friendly encouragement of three angry ex-pilots.  
  
At the northern entrance, however, Wufei is having a harder time. There are a half-dozen armed rebels facing him who are well aware that they have him both outnumbered and outgunned.  
  
By now, the agents in the crowd have realized something's wrong. They're forming a protective circle around the intruders. But this is a party; most of them are unarmed. The rest have only light weapons that are no match for the automatic high-powered assault rifles of the rebels.  
  
Still, at least now Wufei isn't alone. And I can see Quatre, Trowa, and Duo sneaking around to surround the terrorists and guard the exit.  
  
The paths are growing fewer and fewer. I can almost see...the shadows are retreating...and one path is becoming clearer and stronger. That must be the most likely outcome as of this moment. I can almost see...  
  
"Duo! Stop him! NOW!!" I shout even as the image clears.  
  
"Wha? Oh!" No matter how idiotic Duo may seem at times, his reflexes are deadly accurate and lightning fast. Quicker than the eye can follow, he darts into the armed crowd and reached the rebel leader, bringing his pistol to bear nearly touching the back of his head just as the taller man made a grab for the extra gun in his shoulder holster.  
  
The paths are swirling in front of my eyes, but many of them are horribly similar...or at least similar enough for me to see the pattern. I step forward out of the crowd and level my own gun at the enemy leader.  
  
"Drop your weapons. All of them." I can see all the paths where this guy makes a move, which means I know exactly what he's hiding and where.  
  
"You heard him. Do it." Duo prods him in the back with his gun.  
  
With a glare that almost equals mine, the leader pulls out three guns and a knife from various hiding places in his clothing. About half the paths disappear.  
  
"And don't forget that extra knife in your boot or the two guns you've got in that hidden pocket." I add with an evil grin.  
  
Now he looks a little angry and a little scared as he divests himself of the rest of his arsenal. The rest of those terrible paths vanish into oblivion, leaving my view clear once again.  
  
I breathe a sigh of relief. For now, the strongest future shows the rebel surrender.  
  
Since Duo is right in the middle of things already, Wufei tosses him the pair of handcuffs instead of wading into the crowd and presenting the captives with another target. Duo steps up to the leader and holsters his gun, freeing his hands so he can cuff the intruder.  
  
As soon as his hand leaves the pistol, a drowning blackness falls over my eyes and the paths vanish. I raise my hand and open my mouth to warn Duo when the future reappears, writhing and twisting nauseatingly.  
  
*Zero what's happen--*  
  
A piercing pain stabs through my mind.  
  
The light vanishes, taking the air with it.  
  
Darkness.  
  
********  
  
An empty silence.  
  
*Zero, are you there? Zero?*  
  
Nothing.  
  
*Answer me! I know you can hear me!*  
  
Still nothing. For the first time in six years, I'm alone.  
  
This place is empty. I must be unconscious - assuming I'm even still alive - and this emptiness must be somewhere deep inside my mind. This is the hole where the future used to be.  
  
Before it exploded.  
  
The blackness is turning gray now, giving way to a dim and unfocused image. Is this one of the paths? Or is it the events going on around me right now?  
  
The image clears. Still dim and fuzzy, but now it's like watching a video over a bad com connection.  
  
It's this stupid ballroom, frozen at the moment I left. Duo's hand is paused midway between the gun and the leader. Everyone else is waiting tensely.  
  
Nothing happens. The image remains frozen and unmoving.  
  
Perhaps it's waiting for something.  
  
I idly examine the scene as closely as possible, checking weapons and locations. Suddenly a tiny glint of light catches my eye - the reflection off a cuff link as the leader raises his arm. He's going to try to-  
  
Fast forward, the image springs to life. The rebel spins, catching Duo a glancing blow but using the distraction to grab the gun from Duo's holster. Everyone starts firing at once, with Duo and the leader first to fall.  
  
This has to be some shadowed path we can avoid. This can't be the present. I won't let it!  
  
The image resets. Once again, I'm watching the still scene of the ballroom. Then another sudden start, but this time is different. I see myself shout a warning and Duo stops the man from taking his gun. Another fast-forward gun battle ensues, with similar results.  
  
Reset. Replay. A different future. Reset. Replay. And another. Over and over a thousand different paths act themselves out in front of my eyes in fast-forward like a broken movie reel.  
  
They've gotten so fast that I can't even follow the action. I can't even tell when they reset to the beginning again. There are too many, I can't see, I can't choose, how am I supposed to be able to do anything in this fog of possibility? I can't do it, we're all going to die and all my visions will be in vain. All these miniature movies end in death anyway.  
  
Except one.  
  
This time, the vision moves differently. Instead of fast-forward motion, it is just a series of snippets, no more than a moment each. In this vision, the gunfight does not end in death for any of us.  
  
Instead, it ends in defeat.  
  
Snatches of images flutter and die out. Duo and Trowa running from government police. Wufei and Quatre hidden in the darkness of a prison cell. A botched rescue/escape attempt that leaves Duo and Quatre dead and Trowa in prison with Wufei. Relena, forced to reassure the people and to act as figurehead.  
  
Myself. In a coma under armed guard at a government hospital. A hostage for the good behavior of Relena, Lady Une, and the others. Deliberately kept a vegetable to prevent resistance.  
  
And a few years down the line, war breaks out again. This time, there are no Gundam pilots to stop it. This time, the pacifist leaders join the rebellion.  
  
There are no paths leading out of that shadow.  
  
Yet again, I am faced with a choice: death or defeat.  
  
But this time, the choice is easy.  
  
Unfortunately, I am not in any condition to act on my decision. I still can't hear or see the ballroom; I have no idea which if any of these paths has been followed. Am I unconscious? Am I dead? Am I even going to have a chance to change the future?  
  
And where the hell is Zero?  
  
I wish I knew what was happening...  
  
*Your wish is my command.*  
  
Zero?  
  
The world returns.  
  
******  
  
It's dark.  
  
"Heero? Heero, can you hear me? Wake up!"  
  
That's Duo...he's alive...  
  
"Is he hurt?"  
  
And Quatre...  
  
"I don't think so. He doesn't appear to be injured."  
  
Sally...if she's looking after me that means no one else is injured.  
  
"But why did he just fall down like that? And why won't he wake up?"  
  
It's not like I'm not trying, Quatre. It's just rather difficult to concentrate right now...  
  
"Yuy! I know you can hear me! Get up now!"  
  
"Ouch! Dammit Wufei, that hurt!" I sit up, rubbing my reddened cheek angrily. "That was uncalled for."  
  
"Heero!" Duo grabs me and squeezes me until I can barely breathe. "You're awake!"  
  
"I noticed." I extract myself from his grip and look around. Kneeling on the ground beside me are Quatre, Wufei, and Sally. Relena is calmly directing the guests to the exit with her usual charm and courage. I catch her eye and she sends me a relieved smile before turning back to her people. Everyone's here except--  
  
"Wait, where's Trowa?" I look around, suddenly apprehensive. He can't have been hurt, no one seems upset-  
  
"Relax, Heero. He's helping Lady Une and her Preventors ship the bad guys off to prison. He's fine. Everyone's fine." Duo's already impossibly wide grin gets even wider. "We won."  
  
We won. We did it. Our impossibly stupid insane suicidal plan actually worked.  
  
We actually changed the future.  
  
Holy shit.  
  
I just sit there on the ground, staring at the wall. I'm sure I have quite a silly expression on my face, but I frankly don't care right now. Not enough to make the effort to hide the elation I feel.  
  
"Yo, you gonna sit there all night?"  
  
I look up to see Duo standing over me, offering his hand to help me up. The others are all already on their feet, looking down at me with fond looks and knowing smiles. I return his grin with a small smile of my own and take his hand.  
  
Then his smile vanishes and he groans in exasperation. "Aw, man, here comes the Colonel."  
  
Duo has never given up calling Lady Une by her official rank. It drives her up the wall whenever she is forced to call on us for a mission.  
  
At the moment, 'The Colonel' seems far more appropriate.  
  
The formidable former soldier is bearing down on us, glaring with all her might through dainty round glasses. Despite the evening dress and the rose in her hair, she is still intimidating. Especially since she looks _pissed_.  
  
"Would one of you gentleman like to explain WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" Her glare would have set fire to lesser men. But she forgot who she is dealing with; Duo doesn't scare easy.  
  
"Explain what?" He gives her his best innocent look and she doesn't buy it for a minute.  
  
"Explain that you seemed to know these rebels were going to crash the party and you DIDN'T BOTHER TELLING ME!! Did you seriously think you could handle this on your own? Are you crazy?"  
  
"We didn't know until a little while after we got here," Quatre protests in our defense.  
  
"Then how the hell did you figure it out and why didn't you TELL ME?" Lady Une is clearly furious but trying unsuccessfully to maintain her calm while she finds out the truth.  
  
I can't think of a good excuse. There's nothing we can say that she won't question and we don't have any proof to come up with a decent explanation. But there's no way she'll ever believe us if we don't come up with something and fast...  
  
Then Duo decides to tell her the truth.  
  
"Well, it all started cuz Heero can see the future but he didn't get the visions until we were actually in the room and-"  
  
I'm going to kill him.  
  
If Lady Une doesn't get him first.  
  
At the moment she's listening patiently to his hand-waving explanation of our miraculous feat of daring, bravery, and resourcefulness.  
  
I don't want to be here when she gives him a lecture on responsibility, caution, and stupidity.  
  
Before I can casually sidle away, Lady Une fixes me with a stare that quite clearly says 'I'll be dealing with you next.'  
  
I sigh and wait my turn to die.  
  
Standing here watching my friends, whom I had thought lost barely ten minutes before, I can't help but smile. It's strange really. Despite the fact that I'm about to be torn a new one by our illustrious leader, I wouldn't trade this for the world.  
  
The last hour has made absolutely no sense. It has been confusing and extremely dangerous. Only myself and the other pilots stood in the way of a terrible future, and we had no clue what we were doing. We had nothing to rely on but each other and our own skills.  
  
It was a nerve-racking and intense ordeal.  
  
And I wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
*******  
  
End Part 4  
  
********************  
  
Hey, it's not over yet! Tune in next time to see if Heero ever works out what the heck is going on. Only one more part to go, but please stick with me! 


	5. Clarity of Vision

Author: Tori Sakana  
  
Summary: If you could see the future, what would you do? Would you start a war to save your friends? Or let them die to win peace? When all the paths lie in shadow, Heero must make a terrible choice...  
  
Warnings: blood, violence, POV  
  
Time frame: Five years after Endless Waltz...no, this isn't an AU.  
  
Pairings: none  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters or plot or anything.  
  
Wow, it's been forever since I updated. Not my fault though! Internet difficulties and the complications of a summer job in another state. Well, here it is, the last chapter of Nexus. It's been a long ride, but it's been fun. Thanks to all my loyal reviewers! Wouldn't have made it without you!  
  
Sorry it's so short, this is more of an epilogue than a last chapter...  
  
********************  
  
Nexus  
  
Part 5: Clarity of Vision  
  
********************  
  
Who in their right mind would have their birthday party in the same room where they were nearly assassinated?  
  
Who else? Relena Peacecraft.  
  
Naturally, she decided to make a statement of our 'refusal to cower in fear in the face of terrorism' or similar nonsense by holding her 22nd birthday party here.  
  
So I'm in uncomfortable clothes, standing against the wall bored out of my mind in this godforsaken room..._again_.  
  
If explosives were legal, this room would be dust.  
  
I don't think my new boss would approve of such violent thoughts. Lady Une seems determined to wipe out the military mentality of the past era, but it's an uphill climb - Duo loves to pick a fight. Truthfully, so do I, but the rest of the former pilots are smart enough not to pick fights with our commanding officer.  
  
Actually, it sounds like he's at it again. There's a loud shouting argument going on at the punch bowl, and I would bet money that Duo started it, Relena is trying to stop it, and Lady Une is on the verge of turning Colonel.  
  
I wonder if she regrets hiring us.  
  
Still, the addition of the Gundam pilots certainly boosted the morale and public image of the Preventors, so she's stuck with us.  
  
But she still hasn't accepted our explanation of the events of the Anniversary Party, as the media has called it. Then again, we're not really sure what happened that night either.  
  
From what Duo's told me, I can't match up the events to any of the paths I foresaw. Apparently my collapse distracted everyone, including the rebels. When the leader turned to look at me, Duo saw his hand and stopped him from taking the gun by slapping on the cuffs. But the other rebels didn't notice until it was too late, so the gun battle never started. After that it was a 'piece of cake'.  
  
The problem is, no one really knows why I passed out in the first place. Sally couldn't find any medical reason, and it certainly wasn't stress. So that leaves a few less mundane possibilities.  
  
Duo thinks the sudden appearance of thousands of new paths caused some sort of overload and my mind shut down to deal with it. Quatre thinks it was just the stress of seeing such terrible visions. Trowa kept his opinion to himself, but Wufei quite vocally asserted that I was 'weak' until I challenged him to prove it.  
  
I know Duo is probably right, but I just have this feeling...that maybe Zero knocked me out on purpose.  
  
After all, my collapse wasn't in any of the visions but it was the only path that didn't end in death or worse. In all the other visions, it didn't help that I could see the paths. I know that there are paths that only exist because you see them.  
  
Maybe there are paths that only exist because you _can't_ see them.  
  
Maybe Zero knew that and knocked me out...but Zero would have had to know that one of the paths showed me collapsing, and that would mean that Zero saw the path, so it wouldn't exist...  
  
I get a headache just thinking about it.  
  
The strange thing is, I haven't heard Zero since. Not a sarcastic comment or a snide remark. Not even a whisper. No visions either.  
  
It's as if it just disappeared...  
  
I don't miss it, exactly. I used to live without seeing the future, and I can do it again. It's just...Zero saved my life. All our lives really. And I don't even know what happened to it...  
  
*Did you miss me, Soldier Boy?*  
  
*Zero? You're back!*  
  
*Of course. I was just giving you a break. If you thought you were rid of me, you've got another think coming.*  
  
*I couldn't possibly be that lucky.*  
  
"Hey, Heero! You're zoning out again man. What's up?" Duo appears at my side, hiding worry under a carefree grin. Nowadays I can't even daydream without my friends panicking.  
  
"It's nothing, Duo. Zero was just saying hello."  
  
"The machine's back? Cool! Tell him thanks for all of us, ok? We really owe him one."  
  
*You're welcome, Duo.*  
  
"Um, he says you're welcome." All right, this is downright weird.  
  
*I am not your answering service, Zero.*  
  
*Come on, lighten up. He's right, you do owe me one.* He sounds downright smug.  
  
*I do? So you were the one who knocked me out?*  
  
*That isn't for you to know. Sorry, Heero, but I really can't tell you.*  
  
*I guess I can live with that. Either way...thanks, Zero.*  
  
*Whoa, the great Heero Yuy actually _thanked_ me? What is the world coming to?*  
  
I crack a smile as I follow Duo back to the buffet table. *Shut up, Zero.*  
  
All right, so maybe I don't know what really happened that night. Maybe Wufei will continue to taunt me for the next thirty years about fainting. Maybe I'm stuck with a sarcastic computer program talking in my head until I die. Maybe I'll spend the rest of my life at boring formal parties in this damn ballroom.  
  
But right now, I'm watching my closest friends simultaneously drinking the punch and arguing over who spiked it in the same room where we faced down death. No war, no visions. No worries, except maybe over whether going on a mission tomorrow with a hangover would be a good thing.  
  
Good friends, a good job, peace, and spiked punch.  
  
What more could anyone ask for?  
  
*A real social life?*  
  
*Shut up, Zero.*  
  
********************** The END **********************  
  
So. That's it. Like it? Let me know!  
  
Have a great summer! 


End file.
